Healing Starts with Unlearning: How to Rewrite the Narrative of Your Life
From the moment we enter the world, we are handed a script—a set of rules and expectations created by family, culture, and society that dictate who we should be, how we should behave, and what success looks like. Without realizing it, we spend years, even decades, trying to live up to these invisible standards.
But what if those expectations weren’t meant for you? What if following them is what’s keeping you stuck?
In episode 150 of The Empowered & Embodied Show, Kim Romain and Louise Neil sit down with Susan Lieu—author, playwright, and truth-seeker—who shares her deeply personal journey of breaking free from inherited expectations, rewriting her own definition of success, and finding the courage to tell her story.
This conversation is a wake-up call to question the narratives we’ve been handed and to reclaim the power of choice.
Unlearning: The First Step to Healing
We often think healing means adding more—more self-care, more habits, more personal growth strategies. But what if healing is really about subtracting?
Susan Lieu’s story is a testament to the power of unlearning—the act of peeling away the layers of expectations and beliefs that were never truly ours.
🔹 You don’t have to live by someone else’s definition of success. True fulfillment comes from defining what success means to you.
🔹 Unlearning is a form of self-liberation. When we stop following the rules that don’t serve us, we create space for our own truth.
🔹 Healing isn’t always about doing—it’s about undoing. Sometimes, the most powerful step forward is letting go of what’s holding us back.
“Healing starts when you stop following rules that were never meant to serve you.”
The Power of Owning Your Story
One of the most profound parts of Susan’s journey was her decision to own and tell her story—even when it was painful, even when it meant going against her family’s silence.
For years, she carried the weight of unspoken grief after losing her mother to a botched plastic surgery. But instead of staying quiet, she chose to track down the truth, confront the past, and turn her pain into purpose through her book and one-woman show.
✔️ Our stories hold power. The more we own them, the more we free ourselves.
✔️ Silence doesn’t protect us—it keeps us stuck. Speaking our truth is an act of healing.
✔️ Your past doesn’t define you—but your willingness to face it does.
👉 Reflection Question: What’s one part of your story that you’ve been afraid to share?
The Role of Community: Finding Your Lifeline
No one does this work alone. As Susan shares, in her hardest moments—when writing her book, performing her play, and facing deep emotional challenges—she relied on her lifelines: the people she could text in a moment of struggle, the ones who saw her fully and held space for her without judgment.
Signs You Have the Right People in Your Corner:
✅ They remind you who you are when you forget.
✅ They listen without judgment.
✅ They tell you the truth—even when it’s hard to hear.
✅ They celebrate you without conditions.
💡 Who’s your lifeline? Tag someone who always answers your “Do you have five minutes?” text.
Breaking Free: The Path to Self-Trust
The most radical act of empowerment is trusting yourself enough to let go of what no longer serves you.
🌟 Trust yourself to define your own path.
🌟 Trust yourself to walk away from spaces that don’t celebrate you.
🌟 Trust yourself to rewrite the rules.
Because at the end of the day, you are the only one who can decide what your life should look like.
Final Thoughts
Susan Lieu’s journey is a powerful reminder that our healing is in our hands. By questioning inherited beliefs, owning our stories, and surrounding ourselves with the right people, we can build a life that is true, fulfilling, and fully ours.
“You don’t walk into a room and belong there. It’s a process. You have to be brave.” – Susan Lieu
Key Takeaways
🔹 Breaking Family Cycles – How Susan confronted generational silence and redefined her own path.
🔹 The Weight of Cultural Expectations – How ancestral trauma shapes self-worth and what it takes to unlearn it.
🔹 Achievement ≠ Fulfillment – Why success alone won’t bring happiness—and how Susan learned to redefine it.
🔹 The Importance of ‘Salad Friends’ – Surrounding yourself with people who tell you the truth (with love).
🔹 Receiving Without Guilt – Learning to let yourself enjoy life’s little pleasures without justification.
🔹 Healing Starts With You – Instead of seeking validation externally, real transformation begins by going inward.
Key Moments
[00:00] – Intros and celebrating the little things (like giant Peruvian grapes!)
[07:09] – Unpacking family trauma and the power of storytelling
[13:42] – The weight of cultural expectations and the cost of silence
[21:26] – Why achieving more doesn’t always mean feeling more fulfilled
[28:49] – Breaking the cycle: Reparenting yourself and shifting family dynamics
[34:35] – The art of truly listening and holding space for others
[41:17] – Reclaiming self-worth and learning to receive joy without guilt
[48:23] – Choosing yourself: How to step into your own power
CONNECT WITH SUSAN:
Website: http://susanlieu.me
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susanlieu/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanlieuofficial
Instagram: https://instagram.com/susanlieu
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@susanlieu6046
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED:
📖 The Manicurist’s Daughter by Susan Lieu
🎭140 Pounds: How Beauty Killed My Mother by Susan Lieu
🎙️ Model Minority Moms Podcast
Are you ready to reclaim your power and live (and work) with more ease? Discover your unique blueprint to do just that with Kim's Strengthscape Self-Mastery Profile.
Looking for something different and feeling lost about where to start? Rediscover your purpose and how to craft a career that makes sense. Check out Louise'sMidlife Career Mastery program.
