The Power of Curiosity, Emotional Awareness & Finding Your Place
In this episode of The Empowered & Embodied Show, hosts Kim Romain and Louise Neil sit down with Dr. Essence Deming-Rivers
Dr. Essence Deming-Rivers, a licensed clinical psychologist dedicated to intersectional, trauma-informed care. Together, they explore the power of curiosity, the role of emotions as valuable data, and the importance of finding spaces that nurture authenticity.
Dr. Essence shares her personal experiences and professional insights on breaking free from external expectations, embracing emotional intelligence, and building a life that aligns with who you truly are. If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re in the right place—whether in relationships, career, or community—this conversation will guide you toward self-trust, exploration, and intentional change.
Curiosity as a Superpower
One of the most powerful tools for personal growth? Curiosity. Instead of fearing change, Dr. Essence encourages us to approach life as an experiment.
🔹 Curiosity = Clarity – Feeling stuck? Instead of overthinking, get curious and try something new. Clarity comes from action, not just reflection.
🔹 Experiment Without Judgment – Growth happens when you allow yourself to test, adjust, and explore different versions of yourself.
🔹 You Have Permission to Evolve – Who you were at 18, 25, or even last year doesn’t have to define you today. Give yourself permission to change.
"If something doesn’t feel right, be curious about that. If something feels good, be curious about that. Just be curious." – Louise Neil
Emotions Are Data: Learning to Listen to Yourself
We’re often taught to manage or suppress emotions, but Dr. Essence challenges that mindset. Emotions aren’t obstacles—they’re information. The more we understand them, the better we can make choices that align with our well-being.
💡 Track Your Emotions – Use tools like the How We Feel app or a feelings wheel to become more aware of emotional patterns.
💡 Check in With Your Body – Emotional awareness isn’t just mental—it’s physical. Noticing body sensations can help you decode what you’re feeling.
💡 Stop Cleaning Up Your Emotions – Messiness is part of being human. We don’t need to have everything perfectly figured out—sometimes, we just need to listen.
"Emotions aren’t problems to fix. They’re data points to help you navigate life." – Dr. Essence Deming-Rivers
Finding the Right Ecosystem: The Role of Safe Spaces & Belonging
A recurring theme in this episode is the idea that not every environment is meant for you—and that’s okay. Finding spaces where you feel valued, safe, and seen is crucial for growth.
Signs You’re in the Right Space:
✔️ You leave interactions feeling energized, not drained.
✔️ You feel safe expressing your thoughts, emotions, and identity.
✔️ You don’t have to prove your worth—you’re valued as you are.
"We don’t walk into belonging—we build it by showing up as our full selves." – Kim Romain
Shifting from External Validation to Self-Acceptance
Many of us spend years seeking validation from others—parents, workplaces, social circles—without questioning if their expectations align with our truth. Dr. Essence encourages a shift toward internal validation and self-trust.
🌿 Question the “Shoulds” – Are the expectations placed on you aligned with your values, or are they rooted in societal conditioning?
🌿 Growth Requires Safe Experimentation – When trying on new identities, ideas, or ways of being, surround yourself with people who allow you to explore without judgment.
🌿 Diversity Fuels Belonging – Thriving communities embrace differences instead of fearing them. Who you surround yourself with shapes who you become.
Taking the First Step: Practical Ways to Build a More Aligned Life
If you’re ready to step into a more authentic, fulfilling life, here’s where to start:
✔️ Track your emotions – Use an app, a journal, or simple reflection to understand what brings you energy vs. what drains you.
✔️ Take small, courageous steps – Growth doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul. Start with one aligned choice today.
✔️ Seek spaces that nourish you – Pay attention to how you feel in different environments. The right people and places will make you feel more like yourself, not less.
Final Thoughts
Dr. Essence Deming-Rivers' insights remind us that true empowerment comes from within. By embracing curiosity, recognizing our emotions as valuable data, and surrounding ourselves with environments that support our growth, we can step more fully into our authentic selves. Belonging isn’t about fitting in—it’s about creating spaces where we can show up as we are.
“You don’t walk into a room and belong there. It’s a process. You have to be brave.” – Dr. Essence Deming-Rivers
Taking small, intentional steps—whether that means tracking your emotions, seeking out more diverse spaces, or simply allowing yourself to evolve—can lead to a more aligned, fulfilling, and empowered life.
🎧 Take the first step toward your own growth by tuning into this episode and embracing the practices that resonate most with you.
Key Takeaways:
🌟 Curiosity leads to clarity – Experimentation and exploration are the fastest ways to uncover what truly aligns with you.
🌟 Emotions are data, not distractions – Learning to identify and honor your emotions can be a powerful tool for self-awareness and decision-making.
🌟 Safe spaces matter – The right environments will make you feel more like yourself, not less.
🌟 You have permission to evolve – Who you were in the past doesn’t define who you can become.
🌟 Authenticity is your superpower – The more you embrace your true self, the more meaningful connections and opportunities will come your way.
Key Moments
[00:00] – Introductions and celebrations of presence, alignment, and freedom
[03:42] – Finding community and opportunities that align with your vision
[07:09] – The myth of “figuring it all out” at 18 and why identity is fluid
[10:31] – Differentiating between doing and being through a values-based approach
[15:18] – The power of experimentation in self-discovery
[18:20] – How to recognize brave spaces for self-exploration
[22:08] – Emotional literacy as a skill and using the “How We Feel” app
[26:35] – The importance of tracking emotions and body sensations
[30:34] – Why people resist emotions and the societal pressure to suppress them
[35:58] – Belonging, diversity, and why we stay in environments that don’t serve us
[39:47] – Finding the right ecosystem and thriving in the right space
[43:18] – Embracing brave vulnerability and showing up authentically
[48:57] – The power of diverse communities and allowing yourself to evolve
📱 How We Feel App – A free tool for tracking and identifying emotions. https://howwefeel.org/
🎨 Emotion Sensation Wheel by Lindsay Braman – A tool to connect physical sensations with emotions. https://lindsaybraman.com/sensation-feelings-wheel/
Connect with Dr. Essence:
Website: https://customizedbehavioralhealthcare.com/dr-essence%2C-psyd
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/essencerivers/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dressencerivers/
Are you ready to reclaim your power and live (and work) with more ease? Discover your unique blueprint to do just that with Kim's Strengthscape Self-Mastery Profile.
Looking for something different and feeling lost about where to start? Rediscover your purpose and how to craft a career that makes sense. Check out Louise'sMidlife Career Mastery program.
