Avoiding Difficult Conversations? Here’s How to Handle Them Instead
In this episode of The Empowered & Embodied Show, Kim Romain and Louise Neil dive into a topic that so many of us struggle with—having hard conversations.
Most of us weren’t taught how to navigate difficult discussions in a way that fosters understanding, trust, and growth. Instead, we either avoid conflict completely or go into it feeling defensive, ready to prove a point.
But what if tough conversations weren’t something to fear?
What if, instead of seeing them as confrontations, we saw them as opportunities to deepen trust and connection?
This episode is a masterclass on why hard conversations matter, how we can move through them with more confidence, and what it really takes to build relationships that can withstand discomfort.
Why Hard Conversations Feel So Hard
“We don’t just wake up one day knowing how to have hard conversations. We have to practice. We have to be willing to get it wrong, to try again, and to show up anyway.”
Hard conversations feel uncomfortable because they require vulnerability. Whether it’s a disagreement with a friend, a difficult discussion at work, or setting boundaries in a relationship, these conversations challenge us to:
Speak honestly, even when it feels risky.
Sit in discomfort rather than rushing to fix things.
Trust that the relationship can withstand the tension.
But most of us never saw healthy conflict modeled while growing up. We either witnessed arguments that escalated or tension that was ignored—which is why we often default to those same patterns.
Kim and Louise break down how learning to stay in tough conversations (instead of avoiding them) can transform not only our relationships but also our self-trust.
Trust Is Built Through Tough Conversations
“Hard conversations are where real relationships are built. If we avoid them, we miss the chance to actually deepen trust.”
Here’s the paradox: we need trust to have hard conversations—but we also build trust by having them.
Kim and Louise reflect on the early days of their friendship and how, over time, they learned that tough conversations didn’t mean disconnection—they meant growth.
Key Insights:
✔ Trusting yourself comes first. If you don’t trust yourself to handle discomfort, it’s harder to trust others.
✔ Avoiding conversations doesn’t preserve relationships—it weakens them.
✔ Real trust isn’t about avoiding conflict—it’s about knowing you can work through it.
Kim shares how, early on, she feared that a difficult conversation could mean the end of a friendship. But now, after practicing tough conversations, she knows that being able to disagree and still stand beside each other is the real foundation of trust.
From Avoidance to Alignment: Rewriting the Narrative
“My first instinct is always to bolt. Find the door. Escape. But I’ve learned that when I stay, when I breathe, I can actually move through it instead of running from it.”
If you’ve ever found yourself avoiding a tough conversation, you’re not alone. Many of us default to one of these patterns:
🚪 Avoidance: “Maybe if I ignore it, it’ll go away.”
🔥 Escalation: “I need to prove my point—right now.”
🤝 People-Pleasing: “I’ll just agree to keep the peace.”
But real growth happens when we learn to stay present, even when it’s uncomfortable.
✔ Instead of avoiding a conversation, get curious about why it feels hard.
✔ Instead of escalating, pause and ask: What’s my real goal here?
✔ Instead of people-pleasing, practice using your voice—even if it feels messy.
🛠 Tools for Navigating Hard Conversations with Confidence
Kim & Louise’s Top Strategies for Tough Conversations:
✔ Know your patterns. Are you more likely to avoid, escalate, or smooth things over? Awareness is the first step.
✔ Clarify your intention. What do you actually want from this conversation? Resolution? Understanding? A boundary?
✔ Create space before reacting. Take a breath, name what’s happening internally, and respond from a grounded place.
✔ Own your emotions. Instead of blaming, try: “I feel [emotion] when [situation] happens.”
✔ Stay open to being wrong. The goal isn’t to “win” a conversation—it’s to understand each other better.
“When you’re really present, you can make a different choice.”
The Challenge: Lean Into Discomfort
If there’s one takeaway from this episode, it’s this: Hard conversations aren’t a threat to connection—they are an opportunity for deeper trust.
Instead of running from discomfort, what if you leaned into it? Instead of fearing the conversation, what if you saw it as a doorway to stronger, more authentic relationships?
Reflect: Where in your life are you avoiding a hard conversation?
Challenge: What’s one small step you can take toward addressing it?
Key Takeaways
Trust develops through engaging in difficult conversations—not avoiding them
Self-awareness is crucial: recognizing how conflict manifests in your body helps you respond intentionally
Conflict isn't about determining who's right or wrong—it's about mutual understanding
Challenging conversations don't necessarily cause harm; with practice, they can strengthen relationships
It's perfectly acceptable to pause, reset, or revisit conversations when needed—growth is a process
Key Moments
00:00 – Welcome & birthday celebrations 🎉
06:07 – The power of space & self-reflection
09:04 – What makes a conversation "hard"?
12:11 – Trust, fear, and navigating conflict
18:03 – Recognizing emotional triggers in real time
23:30 – The impact of self-awareness on communication
29:58 – Why we avoid difficult conversations
35:35 – Learning to lean into discomfort
41:22 – The difference between tough conversations & arguments
46:50 – Final reflections and takeaways
Are you ready to reclaim your power and live (and work) with more ease? Discover your unique blueprint to do just that with Kim's Strengthscape Self-Mastery Profile.
Looking for something different and feeling lost about where to start? Rediscover your purpose and how to craft a career that makes sense. Check out Louise's Midlife Career Mastery program.
