The Truth About Midlife Identity: It’s Not a Crisis, It’s a Coming Home
In this episode of The Empowered & Embodied Show, hosts Kim Romain and Louise Neil dive into one of the most universal and unspoken transformations we face: rediscovering who we truly are—especially in midlife.
Through honest reflection, personal stories, and a few unexpected laughs, Kim and Louise unpack the layers of identity, the language we use to define ourselves, and the profound difference between what we want and what we need. Together, they offer a soulful guide for anyone feeling unmoored by shifting roles, outdated labels, or the quiet ache of not recognizing themselves in the mirror anymore.
This episode is a moving invitation to shed external definitions, embrace evolving needs, and reclaim a sense of self that is whole, sovereign, and soul-aligned.
Unpacking Identity: Who Are You When No One’s Watching?
This conversation opens with a deceptively simple question: How do you introduce yourself?
What unfolds is a deeply vulnerable exploration of what it means to know—and express—your identity in a way that feels true, not performative.
Key Highlights:
The shift from external labels (“mom,” “coach,” “business owner”) to internal truth
How childhood and societal messaging shape how we see ourselves
The tension between wanting to be seen and fearing that we’ll be seen “wrong”
“My struggle often with identity is how am I identifying myself as myself—and not as in relation to something else.”
Needs Are Not Weakness: Redefining Wholeness
One of the most profound revelations in this episode is around the concept of needs. Both Kim and Louise challenge the stigma around being “needy,” and instead frame needs as part of what makes us human—and whole.
Key Highlights:
The emotional weight of being called “needy”
How internalized shame often keeps us silent
Why expressing our needs is a practice in sovereignty and self-trust
“Who I am as a person and what I need as a sovereign human is going to be different for me—and it’s not gonna come from an external source.”
Redefining Leadership and Self-Expression in Midlife
As former professionals who’ve shifted into deeply soul-aligned work, Kim and Louise bring a fresh, embodied take on what leadership and identity look like after years of personal growth, burnout, and cultural conditioning.
Key Highlights:
Redefining leadership as space-holding, not just directing
Navigating the “corporate hangover” of people-pleasing and perfectionism
Rebuilding identity with self-honoring language, energy, and boundaries
Midlife as a Portal, Not a Crisis
This episode closes on a powerful note: the invitation to stop performing and start embodying. Midlife isn’t a crisis—it’s a moment of truth.
It’s the chance to:
Get clear on what you need—not what others expect.
Speak from your truth—not from old scripts.
Live as the version of you that feels most like you.
This episode is a reminder that you’re not alone in the messy middle—and you’re not too late to become more fully yourself.
Key Takeaways:
How names, titles, and first impressions weave into our identity
Why understanding your true needs is essential to authenticity
The difference between honoring needs vs. being labeled "needy"
How Human Design can reveal patterns of doubt, confusion, and wisdom
What it looks like to move from role-based identity to soul-based expression to the world as yourself
Key Moments:
00:00 — Intro and welcome
00:50 — Exploring identities
03:13 — Identity, marriage, and the names we choose
05:00 — Open centers in Human Design and the pull of doubt and confusion
08:34 — The difference between wants and needs—and why it matters
12:34 — Needs are about fulfillment, not lack
15:32 — Unpacking the old wounds around being “too needy”
18:07 — Learning to name what fills us—and asking for it with courage
20:34 — Guiding vs. leading—reclaiming different forms of leadership
27:50 — How Human Design shapes how we hold space and show up
30:26 — Seeing yourself through someone else's eyes—and letting it land
34:29 — Letting go of performance to reconnect with belonging
36:30 — Final reflections on walking in
Are you ready to reclaim your power and live (and work) with more ease? Discover your unique blueprint to do just that with Kim's Strengthscape Self-Mastery Profile.
Feeling off and not sure why? This (Peri)Menopause Clarity Tracker helps you gently tune into your symptoms, cycle, and daily rhythms—so you can start making sense of what’s really going on. It’s simple, empowering, and designed to help you feel more like yourself again. Start tracking. Start understanding. Start thriving.
