The Power of Small Steps: Finding and Maintaining Motivation with Aunia Khan

Written By Kim Romain

In episode 126, we dive deep into the intricacies of motivation with our guest, Aunia Khan, the dynamic CEO of Rise Visible. Aunia shares her personal journey filled with fluctuating motivation levels, battles with neurodivergence, and the ongoing struggle of juggling societal pressures with personal well-being. As we navigate through her revelations, there emerges a universal message about the power of self-compassion and incremental progress.

Key Takeaways:

  • Motivation and Action: We explore the chicken-and-egg relationship between motivation and action.

  • The "Potato Moment": Understanding and embracing periods of low motivation without self-judgment.

  • Identity and Achievement: Breaking free from the notion that personal worth is tied to accomplishments.

  • Self-Talk and Inner Critic: Strategies for nurturing positive self-talk and challenging the inner critic.

  • Burnout and Self-Care: Recognizing the importance of rest and avoiding the glorification of burnout.

  • Seeking Help: The importance of recognizing when professional help is needed for mental health and motivation issues.

When Motivation Wavers: The "Potato Moments"

Aunia introduces us to the concept of "potato moments"—those instances where motivation seems to utterly escape us, leaving us inert and unproductive. These moments have been particularly pronounced for Aunia, causing her to oscillate between periods of heightened activity and complete inactivity. She observes that modern life, with its bombardment of stimuli through the internet, emails, and social media, only exacerbates these fluctuations, overloading our mental circuitry and hampering our drive.

Kim and Louise touch on a psychological phenomenon where action can actually generate motivation. This opposes the common belief that one must feel motivated to start any task. This revelation aligns with Aunia’s personal strategy, which involves initiating small tasks to catalyze a return to a more motivated state.

Finding Motivation During Tough Times

The challenge of overcoming "potato moments" happens when one's goals are misaligned or unclear. Kim and Louise point out that pressures, both external and internal, often contribute to this lack of motivation. Recognizing the root causes, which can include clinical conditions like depression, is crucial for seeking appropriate help.

Aunia underscores the importance of self-forgiveness during these down periods. She advises against feeling guilty for inactivity, stressing that mental health struggles are real and valid, and acknowledging this reality can lead us toward seeking the help and support we need.

The Role of Self-Talk and Mental Health

Our inner dialogue significantly impacts our motivation. Aunia reveals her struggle with nurturing a kind and calm inner voice. Combatting her inner critic has always been a challenge, intensified by her past identity as an overachiever. Now, she consciously works to dissociate her personal worth from her achievements, valuing relationships and contributions to the community over mere accomplishments.

This shift in perspective is vital. Society often measures worth through tangible successes, but as Aunia points out, real value stems from personal connections and how we touch the lives of others.

Dealing with Criticism and Embracing Health Challenges

Aunia reflects on her 11.5-year battle with being bedridden, acknowledging that health setbacks can dramatically impact one's motivation. She stresses the need for self-compassion in accepting all facets of her identity, including her health issues. This process involves addressing both external and internal criticisms seeded from childhood and societal pressures.

Through her journey, Aunia has learned to embrace her entire self, recognizing the importance of kindness and acceptance over relentless self-criticism.

Intrinsic Motivation: The Inner Fire

Exploring intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation, Louise and Kim discuss how motivation isn't solely triggered by external rewards but often originates from a deeper, internal alignment with personal values. They liken inner critics to drill sergeants, explaining that while they can occasionally push us forward, they more often cause damage.

The concept of intrinsic motivation, or that inner fire that aligns with our core values, is identified as a more sustainable form of motivation. Louise emphasizes the need to nurture this inner drive, which, though subtle, can lead to more profound and lasting motivation.

The Power of Action Over Intention

The episode circles back to the fundamental question: does motivation cause action, or does action generate motivation? All agree that waiting for motivation to strike might not be the best strategy. Instead, taking small, consistent actions can create a ripple effect, leading to renewed motivation over time.

This episode underscores the importance of self-compassion and small, incremental steps in overcoming life's challenges. Recognizing and confronting societal expectations and the toxicity of relentless positivity, while accepting and working through our difficult emotions, emerges as a central theme.

Aunia’s journey is a testament to the idea that true motivation and self-worth are found not in unyielding achievement but in our connections, community, and the kind and incremental actions we take toward our well-being.

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Kim Romain
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